STL fires DJ for Racial Slur; Harvard Praises Witzel for Worse

Harvard University has praised Professor Witzel for spending his weekends on IER, making racist slurs against Indian-Americans and Indians in general.

IRFFAN is delighted to present the contrast:

a) How low-class outfits behave:

“Radio Host Fired for Using Racial Epithet
By CHERYL WITTENAUER
ST. LOUIS (AP) – A St. Louis radio station quickly fired a talk show host for uttering a racial epithet as he talked about Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice on his morning show Wednesday.

Dave Lenihan apologized on the air immediately after making what he said was a slip of the tongue. KTRS president and general manager Tim Dorsey agreed the remark was accidental but said it was nonetheless “unacceptable, reprehensible and unforgivable.”..

“She’s been chancellor of Stanford,” Lenihan said on the air. “She’s got the patent resume of somebody that has serious skill. She loves football. She’s African-American, which would kind of be a big coon. A big coon. Oh my God. I am totally, totally, totally, totally, totally sorry for that.”

He said he had meant to say “coup” instead of the racial slur.
.. Twenty minutes after the utterance, Dorsey went on the air to apologize to Rice and KTRS listeners. “There can be no excuse for what was said,” Dorsey said. “Dave Lenihan has been let go. … There is enough hate. We certainly are not going to fan those flames.”

(And we don’t want to compete with Harvard, which has the market cornered..)
..
Reached at home, Lenihan said he was still trying to figure out what happened and was drafting a letter of apology to Rice. He said he never uses the slur he uttered and thinks Rice is “a fantastic woman.”

Lenihan, formerly a drive-time host at WGNU radio in St. Louis, had been at KTRS for less than two weeks…. “Ratings were going well. It kind of stinks.”
**************************************************

b) Compare that to how Harvard handles matters:
Professor Michael Witzel called Indian-American Hindus: “HIINAs”, commended the creation of crematoria for them, and has joined “FOSA” which includes Harvard alumna Ayesha Jalal, who has argued in writing for terrorist strikes inside India to kill Indians.

See http://www.petitiononline.com/stopIER/

IER Lat*in* Scholar Joannna Kirk praised Harvard for its encouragement of Prof. Witzel. See earlier post on IRFFAN reporting this – IRFFAN is always ahead of the curve.

President Summers could not be reached for comment, since he was cleaning out his office toilet with his bare hands, but a Hahvahd Co. spokesperson expressed the corporation’s deep pleasure at Professor Witzel’s efforts.

“Our name recognition has shot up 40000% since Michael made his “Hiinas” thesis. We are now ranked higher than Saddam Hussein and Pol Pot. With this new association with FOSA we hope to surpass Prof. Adolf Harvarditler and Prof. Moriarty. The new IPAC ConSlutting operation is also taking off very well. In Pakistan, we are welcomed into the innermost recesses of the Presidential Palace and Al Qaeda Headquarters, mostly since our Lat*in* scholarship was publicized – they had no skills at all before that in Lat*in* cleaning before Michael and Steve Farmer published their great works”.

Harvard continues to cover Witzel’s musharraf. What a great institution!!

Above: Missing IER Scholars returning after California State Bores of Education Meeting

EXTRA! PROF. WITZEL WITH PREZ. MUSHARRAF!!

IRF*AN is delighted to convey wonderful news from Assis*ant-to-Professor S*eve *lan Far*mer. A recent post on the prestigious Scholarly Research forum "Indo-Eurasian Research" implied that Professor Michael Witzel's Consluting Firm IPAC has been working with the FOSA to advise General Pervez Musharraf on rights of women in Pakistan. Remember when General Musharraf said that Pakistani women get themselves gang-raped to get visas to Canada and US? This was from Professor Witzel's upcoming Book # 9: "Chicks and Goats in South Asia – Historical Accuracy" co-authored with Dr. Romilla Thapar, South Asia's Most Famous Historian.

Professor Witzel has kindly sent pictures from his consluting assignments with President Musharraf, who, IRF*AN is privileged to announce, is himself South Asia's Second Most Famous Historian. He is a long-time member of the Indo-Eurasian Research Forum. He posts under the pseudonym "Frank SouthasiaWorth"indicating his frankness on all matters, and his IMMENSE worth to South Asia.

The pictures here are some of the most closely guarded secrets of the Pakistani Army, being published only on YAHOO! and SOUTH ASIA TRIBUNE. The one above shows Professor Witzel closely examining a Harappan seal showing a donkey's behind (As Dr. Far*mer would say, "Rajaram would insist that it is a horse's behind, heh-heh!") The building in the background contains the Pakistan President's Official Residence, located deep inside the back of the structure made up to look like the Taj Mahal. It is one of two identical rooms, one with a sign showing a General in uniform, and the other marked "ladies". According to Professor Witzel, the Tejo Mahalaya appearance is to confuse American SLCMs, which are expected to arrive for official visits any day now.

When he was busy consluting with the Pakistani General Staff (see this link), Professor Witzel was pleased to have President and Mrs. Musharraf entertain his loyal assistants, Asst-*o-Professor Far*mer and South Asia's Most Famous His*orian. Please see a picture of President and Begum Musharraf discussing Historical Accuracy and Pico's PhD Thesis, which Dr. Far*mer edited in AD900.

APH Alert! IER Scholars Missing in California

In a dramatic development, Assistant-to-Professor Farmer announced that only one of the four IER Scholars, presumably himself, has yet returned from California after the glorious victory over the Hindutvaadins. A surprising statement, considering that he is the only IER Scholar who claims to live in California!
**************************************************************
In the great Scholar’s own words:

“[Mod. note. No fun allowed ever on the List on weekdays, Trudi -- but maybe OK while we're recovering 3/4 brain dead from California? :^) - Cheers, Steve.]
It may not be the weekend yet, but this is fun!”

*************************************************************

IRFFAN has learned that the “CLEAN CALIFORNIA LATRINES!!!” (CCL) movement has recruited the other three Lat*in* Scholars. There is concern at IER that without these three stalwarts, the Forum is simply not what it was. As is well known, the other 396 members have not managed to get any post past the censors Professor Witzel and Assistant-to-Professor Farmer so far.

The cryptic scholarly statement “no fun allowed ever on the List on weekdays” refers to the request from Harvard University attorneys that racial slurs and latrine-cleaning video discussions, which as we know, are the hobbies of the IER Scholars, are to be discussed only on weekends when the Harvard Provost and Secretary Bersin can also join in.

An ALL-POINTY-HEADS ALERT has been posted for the three missing Scholars

INDOLOGISTS DEMAND THEIR BUNS BE RATED TOO!

Indologists at IER have taken extreme umbrage to the silly "Hindutva Tricks" of posting spurious reviews of their teaching. In a strongly worded 4719 character essay Prof. Michael Witzel thundered about his adverse rating at the impish www.ratemyprofessors.com

"One of them gave me 5 times straight "1s"–that is the worst rating. He also merely listed the course as "Sanskrit," not with its correct name. And, he added the comment "{pathetic professor."

560 characters later Prof. Witzel was pleased to announce

"Well, with nine entries today, the site looks quite different by now "

It is indeed, and IRFAN was pleased to notice today that after Prof. Witzel's monumental email, all negative comments have mysteriously been replaced with ones containing gratuitous praise. Infact there are now more student reviews than students Prof Witzel has taught in his entire career!

But Indologists' concern has only increased with these plaudits. IRFAN has reliably learned that the Indologists are vexed at the lack of accolades for their buns in the laudatory comments. What is even more preposterous is that even Assistant Professors from such lowly enterprises as Assumption College have earned wholesome praise for their buns in reviews by their students. Prof. Witzel's careful grooming of the magnificent crescent that adorns his rear is legendary. He is the Wales Chair at Harvard – we at IRFAN find it disgraceful that there is no appreciation of the anatomy that moulds it.

Though the ratings site has been called frivolous, said to uphold the spirit of toilet graffiti, and even cautioned by the authors of the site "to be taken with a grain of salt", we at IRFAN urge the mysterious students not to lose an opportunity there to compose hymns in praise of the Professors' buns too. You can see how Prof. Witzel has already come out smelling like roses. With the right input, we can sing Dead Horse (in Harappa) by Buns and Roses!

* Picture: Students in Vedic Sanskrit class meditate on the meaning of the Earthshasther, an early Aryan book on Flat Earth Theory that forms the basis for most of the Geography taught at Harvard.

FEB. 27 designated “HINDU KUSH DAY”

President Musharraf Congratulates Professor Witzel.

Congratulations poured in from around the world for Professor Witzel and his assistant Steve Alan Farmer after their brilliant victory over the Hindutvaadins in Sacramento. Herr Fuehrer Lars commended the "samurai" Witzel and Farmer, and hyperventilated that the Hindutva would never rise again. General Musharraf described the 5-0 victory inside 1 minute of deliberations on the list of 77 edits, as "the greatest victory since my Referendum in 2003". His message said:

"Even in Gujranwala I was able to get only 98 bejent abbroval onlee, even with 1200 bejent of the registered voters voting early and often. What you have done is a small step for a Nazi, but one giant leap for the California Board of Education and all other dictators and kangaroos- I mean Chief Executives! You gave them the ballot with the vote written on it already. Brilliant!"

Professor Witzel himself had described the decision by the California Curriculum SubCommittee several hours before it was made, in a prescient email posted to his followers like us on the Indo-Eurasian Research Forum. It was titled "HINDUTVA ROUT IN CALIFORNIA" and celebrated the decision that the Committee had assured him they would take, regardless of what the Hindutvaadins said on that day.

"Zis is sehr gut! Es ist das Blitzkrieg von das Hindu Kush!" said Professor Witzel's classmate Hans Bormann, head of the ODESSA. General Musharraf agreed in his letter. "In 1948 when the Pakistani Army -er – I mean Mujaheddin – rolled into Skardu, the commander sent a message to Headquarters. It was short and sweet:

"All Hindus and Sikhs killed. All women raped and captured for further use". We have been trying to win such a victory over Hindus but THE DAMN YANKEES WON'T EVEN LET ME NUKE THEM!" I WANT THEM ALL DEA*! PLEASE KI** THEM AND *UT THEM INTO *IE*ES LIKE GOHAR AYUB KHAN PROMISED!

Well, General Musharraf, we wish you a long dictatorship – I mean Chief Executionership – and please allow the next IER team visiting Harappa to carry their own two truckloads of "Southern Comfort" with those pictures of hindu goddess serving liquor – you know, that picture was designed by a Harvard Indology and Pornography Dual Degree graduate? They used Professor Witzel's new "IPAC" conslutancy service, and Professor Thapar and Professor Shenoy posed as the models for the two whisky jugs. Also, please don't ask about the strange-smelling smoke rising from our tents. We have to be "flying" before we can see Harvard professors' faces on those Harappan seals.

Assistant Farmer was not available for comment. There is no truth to the rumors that he was exhibiting severe withdrawal symptoms at the hearing, although it is true that attendees had to go through a metal detector and there were some cute Dobermans sniffing at everyone's pants and backpacks. Stay tuned.
Credit for picture: http://members.tripod.com/phil_scarrold/drawingspix/kangaroocourt.jpg